I Was Slowly Dehydrating To Death

Featured image is a screenshot taken from the video embedded at the end of this post.

I’ve been electrocuted several times. I’ve had knee surgery. I’ve had stitches. I’ve had emergency room-resulting food poisoning (Dairy Queen… never ate there again). I have a messed up shoulder (inherited… I blame you, Dad). I have a whacked out wrist (skating accident… I blame you, Grant Heckel). I am no stranger to pain and hospitals… but that was child’s play.

This isn’t something I like to talk about. It’s embarrassing and quite frankly, silly of me. All of it could have been prevented, but I went through it. Because I have learned first hand what it’s like, I feel it is my obligation to help the rest of you and point out the significance of one particular organization, Blood:Water Mission, which I will get to at the end.

I work from home as of now (another post for another time), so I have all the water I could want available to me. Also, I have plenty of food here at the house, and I am so close to a Publix, I could casually ride a bike to it.

Again, how to work from home is another post entirely, but for now, suffice it to say that you have to establish a routine, which is what a drive-to job would force you into. At home no one is forcing you into a routine, so it is easy to let something take over and rule you. In my case that was my work.

I was working so much on my own projects and my clients’ projects that I neglected the basics of life, like food and water. I’m not exactly sure when it happened, but over time it became severe. I would go for days on end having only drank a cup of coffee and a little water at dinner. I would skip lunch entirely and eat less at dinner because my stomach shrank, I guess.

Now, I’m no biologist… Fun fact: Your ole pal, Page, here took biology FOUR times in college! I kept dropping out because I hated it that badly. So, the consequences of my physical routine, which also contained zero exercise, were not at the front of my cranial processes. But I felt awful.

The signs of illness made themselves known, they escalated to being visual, and had they persisted, I would’ve found myself cranium deep in medical bills. I don’t want you to end up here. I had five big things that were happening to me, and if you are suffering from these, I suggest you analyze your routine as well.

1. As a result of malnourishment and lack of water, I was ALWAYS tired. I could sleep the “optimum” amount. Still tired. I could sleep for 12 hours. Still tired. In the afternoons I would see unconquerable crashes; unable to withstand falling asleep. Truly. My fingernails began flaking off in layers. Yep, it was that bad. God gave me TOUGH nails, so this was new for me. They definitely began chipping away like peanut brittle. And I often just simply didn’t feel well at all. I always felt tired or sick or both.
2. As a result of lack of exercise, I began having terrible lower back pain. I’m talking keep-you-awake-at-night kind of back pain. I’d get up in the mornings, bend down, and “Pop!” in the same spot. Every. Single. Day. Did you know that the abdominal muscles help support you? It’s not all up to the spine, and when you let your belly go, other things will follow. I lost muscle mass, and it was taking its toll on my little frame (I’m not a big guy). Granted, I needed a new computer chair, but Amy bought me one, and the problem persisted.
3. Headaches: an understatement. Occasional ones turned into frequent ones. Frequent ones turned into occasional migraines. Migraines turned into frequent migraines. I’d have migraines so debilitating that I’d just lay in bed and feel nauseous once or twice a week.
4. Depression. It kills the mind. It doesn’t cause a wall to form in front of creativity; it erects a freaking fortress. I would become overwhelmed with depression and feelings of life not being worth living, and I wouldn’t even know why. I still struggle with that a bit, and I think it is something I’m susceptible to, but the lack of water, nourishment, and physical exercise was certainly not helping me find joy.
5. This is the most embarrassing and horrifically painful symptom: Hemorrhoids. Now, you can get them from straining and that’s usually an outside of the rectum thing, which is certainly painful. They were chronic. They’d happen, go away for a week or two, come back with an army, and so on. Then, I got an internal hemorrhoid, and it was like Satan had entered my… body. I would put off pooping sessions because I didn’t want the pain. Yeah, that made me sicker. I’m not kidding here. I would scratch at the water closet wall from the pain. You absolutely do NOT want this to happen to you, so read on.

The internal hemorrhoid is when I began using my social media experience, internet searching prowess, and contacts to my own advantage. Page had decided enough was e-freaking-nough! You wouldn’t believe the crap I found, too. It’s almost as if some doctors are paid to prescribe medicine even when it is not required… hmm.

I read suggestions of hemorrhoid surgery and prescription creams. I read about sleep therapy for the tiredness. I read about drugs for the headaches. Every website and person I met thought the back pain solution was a freaking chiropractor; the dregs of the medical profession. And sadly, depression cures are a big money industry.

Believe me, I agree that medicines and surgeries must sometimes occur; there are such things as diseases. I could have let this continue long enough to where that would have been my fate… but I didn’t. I wish I could find it now, but somewhere on some dark dark lonely forum on some dark dark corner of the often dark dark internet, I found it: A female commenter said something to the effect of this:

[blockquote_styled sign=”Mystery Woman”]I used to have chronic hemorrhoids. I know it sounds crazy and like I’m selling something, but you know what helped me? Exercise. Voila! No more hemorrhoids![/blockquote_styled]

That DID sound crazy! You one cray cray mystery woman! Despite the constant hard work that had lead me to this physical and mental demise, I was (am) making very little money, so I was willing to give any and all natural remedies a test run.

Page began running again and doing some situps. I think a lot of us don’t exercise because we see it as a way to look like a beefcake, and a lot of us just do not give a tootin’ root what our appearance is. After all, I’m a glasses-wearing, Chucks-gloating, laptop-toting, shaggy-headed nerd of a Cinematographer/Writer/Photographer. Becoming a beefcake of a man wasn’t even on my things-to-do-before-I-die list.

Very shortly after the exercise theory, I saw a chart that explained what all water does for the body. Have you guys ever looked this up? It sounds like a no-brainer, but for reals, yo, this water stuff is serious! Regular water intake by its lonesome is about as close as one can get to taking a summer dip in the fabled Fountain of Youth! This is the exact chart I saw:

So, I decided in my new efforts at a healthy routine to include a hydration schedule.

• Cup of coffee and juice glass of water in the morning with maybe some orange juice on occasion.
• About 12 ounces of water at lunch (or more if required).
• About 12 ounces of water at 3pm.
• About 12 ounces of water (or more if required) at dinner.
• About 12 ounces of water before bed.

The exercise schedule is Monday/Wednesday/Friday. I’m up at 3-3.5 miles each day and several situps and pull-ups (those handy-dandy door frame pull-up bar contraptions). On those days I have found myself needing at least one entire extra glass of water.

You have all of the little facts now. So, what are the results of about 4 months of this?

1. A good night’s sleep leaves me refreshed and able to rise in the mornings. My afternoon crashes have been beaten back, and my fingernails are not peanut brittle.
2. The lower back pain has been significantly reduced. It turns out, I may have something actually wrong with my back. However, I’m not enduring the pain I was previously.
3. The migraines are toast. I beat those suckers back with a pool cue, and they ran in fear.
4. The depression is far more infrequent. I still struggle with it, but not nearly as much as before. Now, when I get depressed, I at least usually have a reason behind it.
5. The hemorrhoids are a thing of the past… a past I would really like to just forget about. They took a few weeks to fully retreat, but I haven’t had them since!

Now, at the beginning I mentioned an organization called Blood:Water Mission. This organization, in my personal opinion, is TRULY making a difference in this world. They don’t just share Christ with people who have never even heard of him; they give the gift of water.

Here I am letting myself crumble away when purified gallons of water are just 80 cents a pop at a casual bike ride’s distance from my house, and thousands of people (actual humanoid lifeforms) can’t even get access to it!

I don’t agree with the guilt-trip promotional efforts of some charities. In fact when someone says, “Skip Starbucks and buy a kid some food today,” I take that as my cue to buy a kid some food via a completely different organization AND buy three Starbucks coffees out of spite. So, believe me when I say that I would not do that to you. This isn’t a guilt-trip thing. I’m just simply trying to convey my own dismay at the actual health consequences that not drinking enough water will inevitably result in.

Blood:Water Mission understands this. In a very real way, I believe Blood:Water Mission when they say this:

[blockquote_styled sign=”Blood:Water Mission”]We are NOT a charity: We are partners. We are friends.[/blockquote_styled]

They don’t “dig a well and go home.” They actually make sure that the water source will stay. They provide and teach sanitation, helping to prevent HIV. They offer the teaching of eternal life, but they show people the love eternal life is rooted in by providing them with a physical life-sustaining source, which is simply and necessarily WATER.

I’m feeling so much better nowadays. I get more work done. I think more clearly. I have less pain. If you’ve experienced these things, leave a comment and let’s talk about it. I encourage everyone to support Blood:Water Mission’s work, but I also encourage all of you to evaluate your own routines. Are there any health problems you are having that might be remedied with more water and be-healthy exercise (as opposed to become-beefcake exercise)?

Here is a link to a video about Blood:Water Mission. Embedded below is a video that sums things up well (NO, I did not shoot this):