Lose Momentum
A lot of you know this, but I’ve been (since August) intentionally taking a break from my music for awhile, which basically means that I’m not performing or songwriting. I’ve turned down a few things and discontinued setting up a few others. It’s a fast from what I love doing most.
I am doing this because somewhere along the way, I conjoined my relationship with Christ to my music. What I mean is, I let my joy/depression rise and fall with the success of my music. This is wrong. I should be able to separate my joy and have it as a constant in Christ, and music should truly just be a tool used to give Him glory and point others to Him. I defined myself through music, and I’m breaking to redefine my identity through Christ. I feel like I’m doing a lot better now, but it is a process.
Something that astounds me is why not one single person has said to me, “Wow, I think I should do that too,” when I tell them why I’m breaking. Most will maybe say, “Yeah, that’s easy to do.” or “Yeah, I’ll pray for ya.” One man who has written over 40 number one hits told me over the phone, “You can’t do that, son, you’ll lose momentum!” It’s like I’m the only one that struggles with a misplaced source of joy and pride. Really? I know that I am not.
We’ve built a society on pride. Before you argue that, at least think about it with me. The early Christians sold what they had and gave to the poor of their numbers. These days, a lot of giving is met with, “No, we’re cool. We can take care of ourselves.” Ever seen that? We don’t have a pride of “I’m awesome!” (although some do), but our pride is one of “I can do this myself.”
A good friend of mine tried to give me money early last year when I was in need. I said, “No, man, I’ll be fine.” Frustrated, he said, “Page, you have to let others be Christ to you!” What a resounding call to the proud! And what’s worse, that made me happier because I was depressed with my lack of money! We need to be humble enough to take the help of Christ when He is offering it… We have to be humble enough to know we need the help… We have to be humble enough to recognize that we were depressed by what was needing the help.
What have you tied your joy to? My guess is that if you are allowing God to fit into the bubble of your life plans, rather than trying to fit into the story that God has laid out in Jesus, then you are probably pridefully thinking, “I can do this. Watch, God. You’re gonna be proud of me.” That’s how I was with my music, “Check out what I’m doing for you God! Bless me!” That’s how many of us are with our jobs, with our stress points, with our addictions (not talking drugs here). I’m starting to at least get a pinky finger’s grasp on a joy, an excitement, a freedom that we were intended to have in Christ… A freedom we threw away somewhere earlier down the road: The freedom of being Christ’s slave.
We cannot have the freedom of true joy in Christ unless we first knock out of the way the wall of pride that is hiding Him by admitting that we have placed our joy elsewhere, which will also be the thing that we trust the most. What if we admitted that we have been fitting God into our own narrow view of existence? What if we admitted that we have reduced God to being a provider of joy and forgotten that He is the reason for it? What would it look like if we admitted trying to make a god out of what we love most and cast it aside like a worn out tool? Yes, even our talents! We wouldn’t “lose momentum.” After spending that time with Christ, I bet our talents would look different. So different in fact that we couldn’t fathom using them the same way that we did before. Indeed, they would have an all new purpose for the one who makes all things new. And that would result in a far bigger momentum push than we could have ever given our efforts on our own.
“God, if I have said anything that is not consistent with you, I ask that my words would fall to the ground and that people would only see your Word of Truth.” -Chris Siedman
Ya’ll’s bro in Christ,
page lynch
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